Milky Way…

 

I know you…
the Light in your eyes
the curve of your smile
a fondness imprinted
in heart from afar

I know you…
your unbridled essence
a silence that speaks
unlacing remembrance
that once lay asleep

I know you…
your ancient soul whispers
the ash from your pen
unfeigned affection
steadfast without end…

Dear Cherished Szoul…

“Here is my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

You were everything and no thing. A reflection of the Being she never saw… when gazing in a mirror, that reflected the formlessness of Love.You were there, holding the torch as she breeched the thresholds of her mired depths. With every doorway she passed through, you stood and quietly held the Light… knowing that in time she would come to realize and ‘see’ the truth of the brilliant mosaic laid before her.You braved the serpents and the dragons then watched, as she purged the wounds that threatened to poison and steal her soul; the breadth of her Spirit. You prayed and she felt your Blessings move through her; nourishing her with transcending devotion. A Love so full of Light she had to shield her eyes from such beauty. She felt you watching over her, as she dipped her toes in the murky pools that would become her salvation. And … all the while you endured, as her jaded heart was cleansed by the kiln of fury that would free her from the cancers of illusion that beheld her. She remembers waking in your arms… she saw you, briefly… before your presence became one with the air, like an opalescent mirage on the horizon of a thirsty desert. You said she would recognize you… and she did, as you floated through her timeline like Angel held captive in another dimension. You were beautiful. The face of an invisible poem penned in the sacred ink that bled from her heart. You were Always real… Thank you, for Loving me when I couldn’t Love myself. Thank you, for the grace of your heart that you gave so unconditionally. I Love you for All that you are, everything you are not and for the infinitude you have become. Your Love is ever present. May it be, that mine will ever bridge the distance from our moment felt in time… Always…

Of Breath

 

 

Life… how this odyssey fascinates. With each new day it’s rapture astounds and confounds. Over the past few years I have grown in many ways and waves. Stepping into and out of the scared places within and without; over and over again. In doing so, I have experienced both immense joy and bittersweet torment. A self-inflicted fear of the unknown; of others; of my Self. At odds, with an innate pull of wanting to fully embrace this path of internal and distal connection… met with a resistance of my own crafting. Aversion, to an invitation fastened to my heart. Concerned, with how others may receive or perceive these offerings. Continuously wrestling with innate blessings available to each of us. Guidance embedded within the deepest caverns of our humanness.

For quite sometime I ventured solo. Life began to take notice, nudging me into a wealth of experiences necessary for me to see myself, as my Self. Not always gentle, yet necessary. A process in order to encourage and prepare for the imminent changes encroaching upon my path, in a multitude of ways.

I have since committed to fully and honestly honoring the connections that have been given. More attuned and in alignment with living, loved ones, physical, spiritual and emotional well-being.  Always ongoing… Though, in the past that wasn’t so.

Often, we meet dear catalysts along the way, who propel us to explore the unexcavated terrain; the ‘fearful’ places within. I have been fortunate to pass and know many of them. Each baring gifts; each offering blessings in their own unique and wondrous ways. Some conscious of their beauty. Others, unknowing of the treasures they impart; even throughout the shadowy realms.

I met a dear soul several years ago. Somewhere on these inter-waves of connection. The essence of our being touched the deepest parts of me… so much so, that my own ambivalence thrust me into deep self-reflection and exploration. I became the pilot in the torment of my own descent. I couldn’t fathom the intensity we shared. I had never experienced this depth of intimacy. It was foreign and ‘otherly.’ It ushered me to question everything I ‘thought’ I knew about myself, about others, about Love and relationships, about ‘God’ and the footings of my faith.

It was my own unwillingness to receive the gift before me, that left me paralyzed and mute. Not wanting to touch or hold such a treasure, that at the time I felt unworthy and unprepared to receive; Love. So mired with worry, that if left in my hands it would spoil or break. Silenced, by self-guilt and false stabs from makeshift swords impaling my heart; encasing my soul. In fear of truly engaging with what I felt in my heart to be true… a Divine connection; a blessed friendship; a lightness in a world so incredibly laden with heaviness and excessive illusions. A “rare” thing. I was consumed by not wanting to shatter others or myself. Marred with self-limiting thoughts of rejection… if one were to truly ‘see’ not only ‘feel’ the essence of my being in it’s entirety.

Filled with ambiguity, I ran trembling in fear from the unknown… from Love in all facets of my life… from manifestations projected and solely self-created… from holding others responsible as the source of my happiness and easement. I began to build the walls higher, motes stronger, released the dragons… and turned away those who came too close or touched the most tender of places. And so my cherished friend, if ever you should come upon this… that ‘it’ you were trying to discern; trying to encourage me to expound upon… the above is my attempt. I only offer to share my perspective of this experience in faith, that it may help to alleviate any unsettled feelings you may have had or carry in your heart. Just as I ‘feel’ you have done for me, in copious ways.

The beauty and audacity of life… benevolently yields to furnish opportunities and experiences, that offer to enhance our focus and harvest the seeds required for growth.

The self-willingness to heal my misconceptions grew. The vines spilled over and spiral ever upward and outward encompassing the breadth of my life. The “worthwhile” journey has been welcomed, a movement and union within continues… the invitation has been accepted… the door left ajar…
for Love ever holds.

No longer questioning the supposed ‘rights’ or ‘wrongs’ of how ‘things’ should or should not Be. No longer adhering to the discomfort of not fitting the mold. Rather, honoring the sacredness of what IS. And for my Self, that IS the simplicity of BEing undefined in a world imbued with definition.

 …

Always learning and gratefully so.

The gift of connection is the gift of Life. Love yourself enough to be willing and open to receive it. You deserve nothing more sacred than to live in the radiance and totality of your true being. Look deeply into your heart and into the hearts of others. The finest of books, treasures, moments and connection are always contained beyond the surface of perception.

 Blessings.

 

Soul Leavings…

 

 

While I may not have full understanding, I do have a better understanding. The full remains in the heart of the Infinite. I honor the gifts; the soul leavings; the ‘was’ which served a deeper purpose, in benefit to a grander landscape.

Inward… outward… onward…

Forever Blessed